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August 7, 2013

Tuesday - Go Out With A Bang

Yesterday Diesel took his journey. The seventh day had arrived and what you are about to read is truly wonderful. As Jennifer stated in the first blog of this series, "We are given seven days...not because we chose the date but because in many way it chose us."

Seven days...sounds familiar doesn't it?

Those seven days taught us a lot and as you read on you'll see the list of what Jennifer learned on each of those seven days.

Two very special things happened yesterday as they prepared for Diesel's journey. The first was the gathering of the birds. I hear this is a common phenomenon during great events such as this. Almost as if the birds are there to bear witness. It reminds me of all the animals gathering at the beginning of the Lion King.

The second, as Diesel was set free a large clap of thunder occurred.

I can't help but think that these two very special things happened because the family was "all in" during the past seven days. They cherished the little moments, they talked and cried together, they made gifts and whispered prayers.

All the their emotion and love combined made the final day an extremely special one. Special enough to call the birds to gather and allow Diesel to thunder his way across the Rainbow Bridge.

It's as if this event caused nature itself to stop and pay tribute.

When your time comes to make the final decision of when to let your best friend go, follow the example that was set by this family. I can only hope you are also given seven days, seven days to be "all in" for yourself, your family and most of all for your best friend.

So goodbye, sweet Diesel. My only regret is I never got the chance to meet you.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather
the judgement that something else is more
important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon"
Jennifer writes:
"They arrived to help you continue your journey... and you greeted them with so much enthusiasm... you were exactly how I thought you would be - unbounded joy.

I can't imagine how hard it is for our trusted pet caregivers to do. God bless their souls of courage.

While my heart was breaking because it took a while for you to calm down, it reaffirmed what we already knew... your spirit shouldn't be contained... you are bigger and brighter and more fabulous than your ailing body and you showed that every second.

The sky was overcast again, Diesel, so I took a moment to cover the items on the deck... and when I stepped outside there were birds... like LOTS of birds... different kinds of birds all sitting in the trees and on top of the trampoline netting.

So many that I had to take a step back. It's like they knew... they were waiting for you. Your winged angels came to take you home and it was so beautiful, comforting and peaceful.

Friendship isn't a thing...
it's a million little things.
We all got to give you hugs and kisses. You let Alyssa know you'd be okay and that she could let you go with a big slobbery kiss... you didn't give those frequently - you were more of a gentleman with her and I - and that's why it meant so much to her.

Gage got to ask his questions and, though he was upset, understood precisely what Dr. Miller explained - and that clear and simple explanation gave him the reassurance and understanding he needed.

I didn't think I could do it Diesel... I really didn't think I could. As I went up to check on the kids you watched me go up the stairs... you watched me walk away... I felt so torn, Gage was crying but I had promised you... when I checked upstairs, Alyssa was okay with Gage... I had to find my own courage; your heart was calling my heart back.

Chris removed your collar and I tied your "wish bone" in its place. I said, "This is your new collar that Alyssa made and we wrote our wishes for you in - when you get there, everyone will know your name and how much you were loved."

You were ready for your journey.

With Chris by your side I knelt down to pet your velvet ears and place my hand on my husband's back, we surrounded you with love and courage ... the moment was peaceful and you let is all know you made it when a loud crack of thunder clapped.

Through our tears we had to laugh... you went nowhere quietly or gracefully - you are our "hummox" - our proverbial "bull in a china shop" and I would expect that you would enter the gates of heaven by lovingly barreling your way over the bridge.

Because we envisioned you with your new fancy collar around your neck, bounding and bouncing as you galloped, tongue wagging in the wind, ready to play... the thunder clap only made me believe even more that all we did this week was for this purpose. This moment. To set you free.

Chris fulfilled his promise. The courage you knew he had shone brightly for you - you knew all along.

I waivered, Diesel, but you waited. Somehow, someway... you let me take care of our pack, find my courage and be there to let you go.

It’s quiet now, really quiet. Your jingle is gone. But I'm not as sad as much as I feel peaceful for having known you.

When the heavens themselves throw their hands together to welcome you home, I know that I was blessed with an angel.

(...but you knew that already Diesel didn't you...)

1. Love unconditionally
2. Listen - don't interrupt
3. Live in the moment
4. Trust your judgment
5. Find your courage
6. See each other through
7. Believe

...sometimes I think it was seven days, but not because we had to let you go on your journey - because you were leading us on our own.

...good night Diesel - rest in paradise. We love you.

I will remember to find peace in
every morning... it will remind me of you.

Baxter will miss his "little brother"...

Stimpey will miss his big brother...

I will cherish the memories of watching you grow...
time goes by so very fast...
even moment to moment, Diesel...
it goes by so fast...

I've written my wish and placed it your wish bone, Alyssa stitched it closed... but my heart, my heart for you will always be open... and I plan on bringing bubbles for when we meet again.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing this beautiful boys journey with us. I have read and cried every day. I lost my own boy April 26th of this year and my heart breaks for all have showed so much love and courage for this boy you loved so much. They truly teach us the most important things in life. Thanks for sharing these special moments with us.